


All the Lines of Thee

by die_traumerei



Series: Figurative [2]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Asexual Bucky Barnes, Body Image, Cuddling & Snuggling, Emotional Comfort, Fluff, Kissing, M/M, Original Female Character(s) - Freeform, Post-Serum Steve Rogers, Universe Alteration, a little bit of angst, no powers bucky barnes, pin-up photos
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-29
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-06-05 06:22:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,672
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6693019
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/die_traumerei/pseuds/die_traumerei
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Bucky does a boudoir photoshoot for Steve, with a few unintended consequences.</p>
            </blockquote>





	All the Lines of Thee

**Author's Note:**

> OH MY GOD SO MUCH FLUFF. I just wanted to write, like, a short fluffy little story to post to Tumblr because ehhh why now and I'm feeling happy and in love with the world, and then THIS happened. There is still a lot of fluff, but it wound up visiting a lot of how Bucky sees his body -- and how seeing regular representations of his body affects that.
> 
> I swear I will write something in this universe that isn't just cuteness eventually, but until then....enjoy!

_**Steve:** Hey gorgeous, how's your schedule looking for this weekend?_

Bucky grinned at the text – Steve must be home, or nearly so.  _For you? Free. Seriously, no gigs until Tuesday. Won't be free 'til 3 on Friday though._

_**Steve:** That's fine. I'm home Thursday night, btw. Do you wanna run away for the weekend? Even just upstate?_

_Honey, I would love that. Anywhere is fine._ Bucky quickly added a note to his calendar WEEKEND AWAY WITH STEVE. He looked up from his phone and smiled at Sita. “Hey, just out of curiosity, how long until I get the final prints for this?”

“Why, you gotta apologize for something?” she teased him, adjusting some of the lighting. “Is that too warm on you, hon?”

“Not at all,” he promised. “And no, I don't gotta _apologize_. I am perfect.” He affected a look of injured dignity when she started to laugh. “My boyfriend wants a weekend away, and I thought I might surprise him while we're there...”

“Oooooooh,” she teased. “A weekend of passion?”

“Well, for him at least,” Bucky said, smiling. “Honest, love, I'm not rushing you, I'm just curious.”

“For you, baby, I'll courier the prints over on Friday morning myself,” Sita promised. “You gonna be home?”

“Nah, but remind me and I'll let you know where I'll be, we can work something out. Hey. Thank you.” Bucky reached out and touched her arm. “You've been really wonderful about this. If there's ever anything I can do to help you out...”

“You're a gem to work with,” she assured him, and dropped a kiss on the top of his head. “I might take some non-boudoir photos of you sometime to advertise, if you don't mind me exploiting your pretty face.”

“Exploit away,” Bucky promised. “Right, what next?”

“Let's do some funny ones,” she decided. “How do you feel about feather boas?”

“Bury me in a shroud made of them.”

Sita burst into giggles, and went over to her wall of costumes, pulling down a few and dumping them unceremoniously over Bucky. “Hang on, that deserves a photo.”

Bucky started laughing, even as she was snapping photos of him tangled up in the feathery things. “Oh my God, please, please, make a print of at least one of these. Even if only for me.”

“Oh, come on. Your boy'll love this,” she assured him, while he draped one lightly across his crotch. He was still wearing the black shorts he'd been in for most of the shoot so far, and the bright pink was kind of shocking against them, in a neat way.

Sita helped him arranged some of them a little more artfully,  and he writhed and twisted and posed as she directed. It was completely different from posing for drawings or paintings, and he loved it.

“You want to try nude?” Sita asked, her voice easy and gentle. There was a _reason,_ after all, that Bucky had gone with a friend to do this ridiculous boudoir shoot. Sita knew about his being ace, and had informed him from the first minute that she would only do images he was completely comfortable with, and if she even _thought_ he might be freaked out or uncomfortable or anything, she would stop the shoot until he was happy again. 

He  had  nearly kissed her then and there.

“Yeah,” he said, and smiled. “It's not different from my day job, really.”

“Not really,” she agreed, and took the feather boas back. “Take your shorts off, honey-love, and I'll get some more pillows. And I've got some dark blue silk that'll look amazing against your body. Incidentally, have you _ever_ gone out into the sun?” she teased.

“Hey, some of us aren't genetically adapted to deal with regular sunlight,” Bucky protested, laughing. It helped, as he stripped down in front of her. “Um. How...fuck. Uh. This is sexy, right?” He draped himself over some pillows, arching his back.

Sita knelt by him and smiled. “Yeah. Hey, relax for a minute. Here.” She pulled a swathe of silk over him, and scritched his scalp with her long fingernails. “Break time, to talk about what you want.”

Bucky smiled up at her and snuggled into the pillows a little. He had the best friends. “I want something that'll make Steve happy.”

“Bucky, heart of my heart, I've seen him around you. Anything we shoot today will make him happy.”

“Fine. I want something he can jack off to,” Bucky said, and closed his eyes while she kept scritching his head. Sita's hands were _magic_. “I can't give him that in person. But I can give him this, at least.”

“You don't owe him anything,” Sita reminded him gently. 

“I know. Honest.” Bucky smiled up at her. Steve had actually asked him, shy and sweet, if Bucky minded Steve's fantasizing about him while he got himself off. 'Only if you don't make me into an actual sex god', had been Bucky's dumbfounded response. That, and a lot of kisses. “I want to do this for him.”

“Okay. And I'm gonna go for pretty explicit images, like we talked about, but I'm also gonna check in with you a lot,” Sita warned him, and pulled him up and into a hug. “Got to take care of my guy.”

“Aw, honey.” He hugged her back, and kissed her cheek. “I'm fine. I promise.”

“Good.” Sita shifted onto her knees and rose gracefully, then bent to rearrange some pillows. “Let's start here, and then you can move over to the bed, I have some ideas there. Kneel for me, okay? No, spread your knees, there's a good lad.” She started snapping photos, talking him through the poses. “Okay, drape the edge of that silk across your lap, I wanna make a teaser photo – perfect. You look gorgeous, honey-love.”

She talked him through poses that felt ridiculous – bent over on his knees, his ass in the air; lying back on the pillows cupping his cock in one hand. Sita worked  with his lack of a left arm; didn't make it the focus of the shots, but made it a part of him, not hidden away.

They moved to the big, ornate bed, and took more photos of Bucky showing off – showing off his body, his flexibility, posing invitingly. Sita kept him laughing and easy and relaxed, and finally took one last photo of him curled up under the covers, wrapped around a pillow and pretending to sleep 'just because you're disgustingly adorable', she informed him.

Bucky got dressed and they  slumped together on a sofa in one corner, sharing a pot of tea.

“Thank you,” Bucky said, and tried to put all his feelings into it. “Sita, really, thank you so much. Today was fantastic.”

“Good. I'll get the prints and a thumb drive to you as soon as I can,” she promised. “Definitely before this weekend. You're fantastic to work with, as I always suspected.”

Bucky laughed, and rested his head on her shoulder for a moment. “We'll do some non-bedroom shots you can use for promotion soon,” he promised. “You got first dibs on my time, honey.”

“Deal.” She kissed the top of his head, and they talked of other things for awhile, catching up on mutual friends until Sita gently kicked him out so she could get to work.

_**Bucky:** Gonna have a surprise for you this weekend :) :) :)_ They couldn't text while Steve was on missions, but this was just a training thing down in DC. 

_**Steve:**??? I think I am excited?_

_**Bucky:** You should be! It will be an awesome surprise. A present. _

_**Steve:** ooooooh what'd you get me?_

_**Bucky:** You'll find out this weekend_

_**Steve:** You're not fun_

_**Bucky:** I am SO MUCH fun. Think of it as added incentive to come home to me. And all in one piece._

_**Steve:** Beautiful, you are all the incentive I need for that. :* i'm in meetings half the day and watching other people train the other half. coming home in one piece won't be a problem._

_**Bucky:** :* Having a good time at least?_

_**Steve:** Yeah. Sam's trying to make me fat. The meetings are a little dumb, but mostly okay, the training's actually interesting. Miss you, but it's not bad down here, honest._

_**Bucky:** Miss you too, but good. Give Sam my love._

_**Steve:** Of course. You busy today?_

_**Bucky:** Was earlier, but I've got the afternoon and evening free. Think we've got rain coming on :( _ He wasn't achy quite yet, but he could  _feel_ the air changing, and was quietly thankful that he could just curl up in bed if he needed to.  The train accident that had taken his left arm had left the rest of him in a pretty awful state, and bones that had been broken all those years ago still ached when a storm was coming on.

_**Steve:** Oh, bby. take care of you, ok?_

_**Bucky:** Of course. Fingers crossed everything'll be okay._

_**Steve:** Yeah. I gotta run, Bucky, but I'll call you tonight around eight?_

_**Bucky:** Perfect. Love you, Steve._

_**Steve:** Love you too._

Bucky put his phone away, rather pleased that Steve had to go just as he reached his subway stop. It was a short walk home, and luckily too – the skies opened up as soon as he let himself into his building. He popped some ibuprofen the moment he was in the door, and settled in, cautiously hopeful that h e could accomplish something that day.

The rain was steady, but not awful, and he managed to clean the bathroom and make dinner without feeling too bad. After dinner found him working through his budget, reconciling everything to account for some checks he'd gotten that week. He got lost a little in the numbers, nudging here and balancing there, and was only a little startled when Steve called.

“Hey, you!”

“Hey, beautiful. How you feeling?” Steve asked, his voice warm and okay. Yeah. Bucky still got a fluttering in his belly when Steve called him sometimes. Maybe most of the time.

“Fine,” Bucky assured him. “Nothing hurts, love.”

“ _Good_. Let yourself in and steal my heating pad if you need to.”

“I will,” Bucky promised, getting up and moving to curl up on his sofa. If he hugged a pillow, no one needed to know he was that pathetic. “How was your day?”

“Good.” Steve sounded a little surprised at himself. “Honestly, it was...really good, actually.” He laughed. “I did not have this good a time the _last_ time I was in DC.”

“Aw, honey, that's awesome.” Bucky closed his eyes and curled up, pretending Steve was right there. “How's Sam?”

“Sam says to tell you that I'm a cheating cheater who cheats at running. It's not my fault that you're a slow-ass,” Steve said, voice fading out as he turned away from his phone.

Bucky started laughing. “He is not! You're just a dick! A serum-enhanced one!”

“Sam said to tell you that you could do better.”

“Well, obviously.” Bucky giggled. “You sound really happy.”

“I am. I was so fuckin' miserable when I was living here and now...yeah.” Steve's voice warmed. “I'm not some sad, lonely fucker who hates his life.”

“Hey you,” Bucky said softly. “You've been through so much, and you worked _really_ hard to make a life for yourself. You deserve to be happy.”

“Whatever.” He could hear the blushing in Steve's voice. “What'd you do today?”

Bucky graciously ignored Steve's obvious change of subject. He couldn't conceive of what Steve had gone though. Being born in one time, living in another. Having lost everyone he ever knew, having lost the place that was his  _home_ . He knew how sad Steve got, how out-of-place he felt. How hard he was working to make a new life, new friends. And it drove him abso-fucking-lutely crazy that Steve didn't recognize the same things, shrugged off all the work and the sorrow and the loneliness, didn't see himself as resilient. Hell, he claimed that  _Bucky_ took his breath away, which was just dumb.

They were a pair of dummys, actually, Bucky suspected, which meant they deserved each other, which he was entirely okay with.

“Had a portrait session this morning. Then worked on your present,” he teased.

Steve groaned. “I hate you.”

“You fuckin' wish you could hate my ass,” Bucky said gleefully.

“Mrmph.”

Bucky just laughed and curled a little tighter around the pillow. “So you get back Thursday night, right?”

“Yeah!” Steve had never, ever, ever bitched about Bucky's terrible memory. Sometimes the spark of joy when Bucky did remember things hurt more, though. “Around seven. Wanna come over for dinner and making out?”

“Obviously.”

They chatted a little bit longer, then bid each other good night. An early morning meant bedtime for Bucky soon after, and he drifted off happily while the rain beat down around him.

 

“What,” said Bucky.

“Holy shit,” said Steve.

“Everyone should date someone who is best friends with Tony Stark,” Bucky decided.

“He said it was a little cabin in the woods!” Steve squawked.

“It has a certain...cabin feeling. It's cabin-esque,” Bucky suggested, tilting his head to one side. There was wood involved in its construction, certainly.

“I probably should have known something was up when Tony told me there was a jacuzzi in the master bedroom,” Steve said, a little forlonly.

“There _is_?” Bucky handed his bag to Steve. “Whatever loser, see you whenever. I'm not moving all weekend.” He started to walk towards the house. It was like if someone had _described_ 'rustic' to Tony Stark, and then Tony designed a house. Mansion. Estate. Whatever.

“I guess he wasn't kidding about the sauna. And the hot tub.”

Bucky stopped in his tracks and made a high-pitched whining sound. “Steve _why don't we live here_.”

“Well, it's not ours,” Steve pointed out, still clearly rooted to the spot by the reality before him.

“I bet Tony would give it to you if you asked nice.” Bucky kept going. “Come on! Let's explore!”

This snapped Steve out of his stupor and he ran to catch up, still shaking his head. “I don't even...honest to God, Buck, he made it sound like a shack in the woods.”

“It probably is, for him,” Bucky said. “Key, please.” Steve handed it over, and Bucky let them in.

The looked around the...living room? Yeah, living room worked.

“Steve, I want to marry this house,” Bucky said seriously.

“It's kinda...ostentatious?”

“So am I. We're made for each other. Drop our bags, we can get them later.” He giggled and took Steve's hand, pulling him inside. “C'mon, this is so cool!”

Steve laughed, clearly a little against his will, and followed Bucky into the big room. Double-high ceilings went straight to the back of the house, and the room was paneled in light stained pine that glowed in the midday sunlight. The floor, stained just a few shades darker, was smooth and warm under Bucky's feet. (He had more or less immediately kicked his shoes off.) It should have felt echo-y and too big, and it did, a little bit. But clusters of furniture, mostly overstuffed sofas and chairs, filled the space, as well as a wood-burning stove off to one side. An open-plan kitchen filled half of the space; you could cook a meal for twenty, and seat them too, with room to spare.

Bucky laughed and took a flying leap onto a sofa, wriggling happily. “Steve, this is the _best_.”

“C'mon, let's look outside. Just a peek,” Steve begged, making a beeline to the far wall. It was entirely windows, crystal-clear, and looked out onto a huge, multi-level deck, and a lake beyond.

“Oh my God, look at this.” Bucky raced past Steve, through the door, and climbed onto a huge, circular bed. That was suspended. And swung gently when Bucky sprawled out on it. “Oh my _God_. Steve, we gotta spend at least one night on this.”

“At least,” Steve agreed, and joined Bucky, the two of them setting the bed swinging just a little more. It was like being rocked to sleep by the earth.

Bucky rolled over into Steve's arms and kissed him in the warm spring sunshine. “This is perfect. Thank you so much, baby.” Another kiss. “You're so good to me.”

“You deserve it.” Steve pulled him a little closer, and kissed the curve of his neck. “My wonderful guy. You don't gotta do anything but sleep and rest and be lazy all weekend.”

“Bliss,” Bucky sighed. “All that and I get you, too.”

Steve smiled into his cheek, and they necked until Steve started laughing.

“What? _What_?” Bucky begged.

“One, we have at least a whole floor of the house to explore still,” Steve explained between giggles. “Also, can you imagine how many times Tony has had sex on this thing?”

Bucky wailed and shoved Steve away. “Ugh. _Ugh_. Oh, fuck you. No, _really_ ,” he moaned. “ _Jesus_ , that isn't even the ace part of me _why would you say that and ruin this_?”

Steve was on his back cracking up, the dickhead. “Oh my God, your face,” he wheezed. “ _Bucky_.”

“ _Ew_ ,” Bucky moaned, and sat up and crossed his arms as best he could, glaring at Steve. “I should deny you your present, just for that.”

“Worth it,” Steve said smugly.

Bucky waited a beat.

“You won't really, right?”

Bucky rolled his eyes.

“Aw, baby. C'mon, it's Tony, I'm sure he ordered all new mattresses and stuff for us.”

Bucky sniffed, unimpressed.

“C'mon, _please_?”

“Later. It's with my stuff. And we should probably figure out which palatial room is the master bedroom,” Bucky admitted.

“Probably.” Steve rolled over and rested his head on Bucky's lap, and reached out a hand to rub his knee. “This _is_ really nice.”

“Yeah,” Bucky agreed softly, and combed his fingers through Steve's hair. “Not too soft for you?”

Steve shook his head. “'s good,” he admitted, fingertip idly tracing a scar on Bucky's leg.

“C'mon, I wanna explore some more,” Bucky said, gently shaking Steve off. “We can nap out here later or something.”

Steve smiled and kissed Bucky's thigh, then followed him back into the house.

 

“Well, we found the master bedroom,” Bucky said dryly.

“What was your first clue?” Steve asked, reaching out and poking the garish red-and-gold light fixtures.

“Steve, let's sleep literally anywhere else.”

“Agreed.” They turned tail, and Steve closed the door firmly behind them, just as they started laughing and running down the wide hallway. There were more bedrooms on the second floor, and they called back and forth to each other, exploring.

“Found ours!” Steve's voice was distant, and Bucky had to round a corner and go to the end of the smaller corridor to find the open door.

It was a tiny room compared to the others they had found, with a sturdy oak bed, a dresser, and not much else. There wasn't even an attached bathroom – they'd have to walk all the way across the hall for that.

The bed was big enough for the two of them but only just, with a cheerful yellow quilt. A small window at the foot looked out over the lake. The walls were plain, and there was a small rag rug at the side of the bed; the room was so little that the bed had to be pushed against a wall.

“Oh,” Bucky breathed. “Steve, it's perfect.”

Steve reached out and wrapped his arm around Bucky's shoulders. “You sure? We can stay in any of them, love.”

“It's _perfect_ ,” Bucky repeated, and turned to give Steve a hug. “I'll take the wall side,” he murmured. Steve needed to be able to get up, get away, needed to know he _could_ get away. Although maybe, possibly, they'd be spared nightmares here.

Steve tightened his arms. “It is perfect,” he agreed, and kissed Bucky's cheek. “Come on, let's get unpacked.”

Steve was the least subtle person ever.

 

They got everything put away quickly enough – you only needed so much for a weekend away – and then Bucky climbed onto the bed, sitting against the headboard tailor-fashion. “C'mere, honey.”

Steve grinned hugely, and Bucky was struck by the fact that, going by years lived, Steve was younger than he was. Not enormously so, but enough. His youth hardly ever showed, but for moments like this, and Bucky leaned over and kissed Steve while handing him a thick folder. Sita had dropped it off with him just that morning, filled with big prints of the best of his photos.

He had tried to look at the pictures and quickly decided that these were for Steve alone. Bucky had a pretty healthy self-esteem when it came to his body, but all he could see in the images were scars and an uncertain young man. Paintings never worked out like the raw honesty of the photos.

Steve gave him a curious look, and opened the folder carefully. A single sheet of tissue paper covering the top picture, and he moved that off to the side.

“Oh my God.”

Sita had put the one of Bucky covered in boas and laughing on the top as a kind of cover image. Steve laughed, as he was meant to do, and shifted so that he was sitting beside Bucky.

“What on earth?” he asked, carefully flipping it over and revealing the next picture – this one just of Bucky sprawled across pillows, grinning up at the camera. Image followed image, the first ones sexy, but relatively modest. Some funny, some sweet and serious.

Bucky blushed and didn't look too closely, but he knew when Steve got to the really erotic photos by his indrawn breath. “Oh, _Bucky_ ,” he whispered.

Bucky actually got up the courage to look at Steve, finding him rapt, staring down at the photo. It was the one of Bucky kneeling, his legs spread, looking boldly at the camera. “Oh my _God_ ,” Steve murmured.

“Um,” Bucky said. He...thought Steve liked it? Maybe it was too much? Maybe it was teasing Steve, promising him something he couldn't have?

This was a _terrible_ idea.

“Sweetheart, you did this for me?” Steve asked, turning to meet Bucky's eyes.

Bucky swallowed hard. “Well, I don't exactly plan to publish 'em on Tumblr.”

Steve smiled, and kissed Bucky softly. “Why?”

“I give you a pile of porn starring me and you ask _why_?” Bucky asked dumbly.

“Pretty much.” Steve touched his thumb to Bucky's lower lip, then kissed it. “Why?”

“Um. I...wanted to?” Bucky gave him an odd look. Only Steve would look gift super-hot erotica in the mouth. “I wanted to do something nice for you? And I thought this would be fun. And that, well, you'd like it. It's...a way I can be part of your sex life,” he said slowly, the thought just now occurring to him. “I know you beat off to thinking about me, just now...you got a visual, too.”

“Okay. Thank you. They're gorgeous.”

Bucky flushed at that, because his whole body was a giant traitor. He _knew_ he was bright red, and knew Steve wouldn't miss it. Hell, Steve could probably feel his temperature rise, just from the rush of blood.

“Bucky. I _know_ you're aware I think you're stunning. What's this?” Steve asked, brushing his fingertips along Bucky's cheek. “I've never seen you so red.”

“No! I mean, I know. I know you think I'm hot.” Bucky smiled shyly. “I guess I'm not so used to seeing photos of myself?” He laughed a little, uneasily. “Which sounds really dumb, but, y'know. Paintings and stuff is different.”

“It is.” Steve smiled and pressed a kiss into his cheek. “What's wrong? You're _gorgeous_.”

“All I see is what's wrong,” Bucky said, without meaning to.

Steve looked at him in surprise. “You're not happy with the photos?”

“It's not that! I had a lot of fun doing them – Sita took them, by the way, and there's about three hundred others on a thumb drive I have for you – and they're awesome. I just...look at myself and just see what's wrong.”

Steve set the photos very carefully aside, and turned to face Bucky properly. “Enlighten me. Because I can't see a single thing wrong with you.”

Bucky smiled a little. “Well, of course _you_ can't.” He shrugged. “My arm looks weird. I have...a lot of scars. From the accident. Which, I mean, I knew about but I don't think I'm so used to...seeing them all together.” He winced; fuck he sounded self-pitying. “It's just dumb shit. Ignore me. You haven't even gotten to the really, really good photos yet.”

“I'd rather have the real thing right now,” Steve said softly. Bucky had squirmed tighter and tighter in on himself, arm wrapping around his knees, and Steve reached over soft and slow to run his fingertips along the back of Bucky's neck. “He's the most gorgeous man I've ever known.”

“ _Steve_.” Bucky squirmed. “Stop. Seriously, please, stop. I'm just being...weird. I don't _want_ to think I look fucked up,” he added.

“I know.” Steve leaned over and kissed his knee. “This is really, really important to me. I won't babble on at you about how I think you're gorgeous, but I wish you could see yourself the way I see you. The way I see your arm and your scars.”

“I kinda do.” Bucky smiled shyly. “You've painted me.”

Steve rested his hand on Bucky's knee and smiled at him. “Yeah. So you know.”

“I know,” Bucky said quietly. “I always know. Just seeing the photos...” He shrugged. “It was startling, I guess.”

“It was startling the first time I saw you naked,” Steve admitted. “I knew you were hurt badly, of course. I just hadn't realized...” He paused, and took a deep breath. “You could have died, and I would have just been asleep under the ice, and never gotten to have you in my life.”

“And instead you can't get rid of me.” Bucky leaned over the little bit required to kiss Steve's forehead. “What'd you think, when you saw all of me?”

“I was nervous. Because I didn't want to do anything to hurt you, or to make you uncomfortable. I didn't know how to be a good lover to you yet.” Steve went quiet for a long time. “I was afraid I'd physically hurt you. All I could see were the scars on your body, your missing arm. Everything that made you vulnerable.” He smiled apologetically. “That was only for a minute. But it was there. So I know, a little, what it is to be startled by you.”

Bucky nodded, a lump in his throat. He'd had no idea Steve had noticed, still noticed, had ever felt this way. He should have warned him better, prepared him better, talked more. Not made his lover nervous.

“But then Bucky, I swear to God, you started smiling and it was just...how could I ever be afraid of you, or of hurting you?” Steve continued. “You're strong and sure and kind, and it stopped mattering. It was _your body_ , so of course I loved it, as much as I love you. And now it's like...it's not that I don't see that you only have one arm, or don't see the scars, but they'll never surprise me, because they're _you_. I am literally more surprised by my _own_ body,” Steve admitted.

Bucky was weeping, and didn't even try to hide it. “What d'you see in the photos?” he choked out.

“I see my gorgeous lover. I don't care if we don't have sex, you're my lover, by the way,” Steve said, wiping under Bucky's eyes with his thumb. “I see someone who loves me so much, he made me this amazing gift. I see the sexiest man I know.” He laughed. “ _Christ_ , those photos. I'm gonna need some time alone this weekend, just so you know.”

Bucky laughed, even as he cried a little more. “I figured.”

Steve smiled and kept wiping Bucky's eyes. “I see your body. The scars and your stump, yeah, but also your legs and your belly and your arm and your hand and your _face_. Bucky, it's you. And it's a way I've never seen you before, it's _amazing_.” He leaned in for a little kiss. “I see all of you.”

Bucky nodded and finally unfolded and pushed himself into Steve's arms, the two of them wrapping around each other in the warm sunlit room.

“What d'you see when you look at me?” Steve asked, well after Bucky's tears had dried.

“Huh?”

“What do you see?”

“Perfection.” Bucky paused. “Wait, no. I take that back. Let me think a minute. Try to put it into words for you.”

“Take your time,” Steve murmured, while Bucky tried to prod his stupid brain into working. This was _important_.

“I see...beauty,” Bucky started, speaking slowly and carefully. He was always going to be slow at stuff like this, but he tried to make it worth Steve's patience. “You're gorgeous. I see someone who works so hard to keep me safe. Keep everyone safe. I see...that all of your scars have been taken away from you,” he continued. “You must have had them, after everything you told me about being a kid and getting beat up all the time. But your skin is perfect now. I've seen it heal. I see.” He paused and thought again. “A strong man. But one who's sad so often. You don't hide it so well, baby. I see the man I love most in the world. A body that I've always felt safe around. You would never hurt me, have never hurt me.” He kissed Steve softly. “I see you. Guess it's like you said. I love your body because it's yours. I don't see the serum or how perfect you are, not really. I just...see _you_. There's too much there, to get lost in the physical.”

Steve smiled, and blinked suspiciously-shiny eyes. “The back of my right forearm. I used to have a big scar there. Fell when I was a kid and gashed it open on a fence. That's the first one I noticed was gone.”

Bucky smiled, and kissed Steve's cheek. “I got more than my fair share. You wanna adopt one of my scars?”

Steve giggled. “Seriously?”

“Seriously. You're just lending it to me right now. I'm keepin' it safe for you.” Bucky felt silly and ridiculous and what kind of bullshit was he spouting, really? But it was making Steve laugh. “I'm serious! Which one do you want?”

“Any one?” Steve asked, and Bucky nodded.

“Hm. Lie down on your back for me, please?” he requested, and Bucky did so. Steve scrutinized him carefully, then leaned over to pull his shirt up.

Bucky breathed deeply, and smiled up at Steve.

“I love you so much.” Steve leaned over and kissed Bucky softly. “Thank you for this. Thank you for noticing.” He smiled sadly. “No one else ever realized that everything got...cleared away.”

“Not everything,” Bucky chided. “You're still you, love. You were always a good man. That's why you were chosen.”

Steve wiped his eyes. “Shut up, I'm pickin' out my scar.”

Bucky laughed, and lay still. “Don't let me distract you, then.”

Steve trailed his fingertip down the deep scar that went down Bucky's chest, then touched one on the leg closest to him, thoughtfully tapping his fingers. He brushed back Bucky's hair and examined the scars on the side of his head, even leaned in to kiss them, but sat back up again without saying anything. Finally, he found a light one, a superficial cut that curved from Bucky's side over his belly and back around to the point of his hip. “Can I have this one?”

“Of course, baby.” Bucky traced it with his fingertip. “That's yours now, forever.”

Steve smiled, and leaned over and kissed the pale mark. “I love you.”

“Love you too, sweetheart. Why'd you pick that one?”

“It's pretty, the way it curves. It's not from a surgery, right?”

“That's right,” Bucky said. “It's from the accident, though.”

“I figured.” Steve touched the top edge of it. “I wanted to give it a job. It didn't save your life, it didn't make you stronger or healthier, it's just there. And I like where it is. Your stomach is soft and nice to lie on. I like that you're ticklish, and I like the way I can feel the bony part of your hip. I think your belly is cute.” He smiled and gave Bucky's bellybutton a little poke. “I want it to be something you look at and smile, so that one. That's mine.”

“Oh, _Steve_. You're gonna make me cry again,” Bucky accused, and opened his arms, rolling Steve so he sprawled on top of Bucky. “You're gonna have me smiling every time I look at my stomach, now.”

“Good.” Steve kissed him. “Thank you for my scar. And for the photos. They're really fantastic, sweetheart, and I'm so happy to have them.”

“ _Good_.” Bucky smiled and stroked Steve's hair. “You still gotta promise to fantasize about me as a sex god, okay?”

Steve laughed, and bit his shoulder lightly. “Promise. Hey, 'parently the kitchen's all stocked for us, wanna start dinner in a little while?”

“Uh huh. I know it's been like an hour since you last ate,” Bucky teased, and just on cue Steve's stomach growled.

“I have an enhanced metabolism!” Steve whined.

Bucky laughed and kissed him. “C'mon. Let's get a granola bar into you or something, at least.”

“Nnnnn. I like this better,” Steve moaned, wrapping his arms and legs around Bucky. “Stay here for a little bit longer? Please?”

“As long as you want,” Bucky soothed, pressing a kiss to Steve's neck. “We got all weekend, baby.” He smiled against warm skin. “Minus your alone time, of course.”

Steve groaned. “You're so fucking _hot_.”

Bucky laughed out loud at that, and they kissed for a little bit longer, until Steve's stomach growled again and Bucky made him get up and go eat. They made dinner together, working easily around each other, and ate outside, watching the sun set.

Bucky shivered a little, and snuggled closer to his personal hot water bottle.

“Okay?” Steve asked, and Bucky nodded.

“Just chilly.”

Steve pressed a kiss to the side of his head, and pulled him a little closer. “We'll bring out a blanket tomorrow evening,” he promised.

Bucky sighed and nodded, more than content to have Steve be his source of warmth. He smiled a little, feeling Steve's fingertips on his belly, tracing the curved scar. “Hey you. Sorry I got all cry-y earlier.”

“S'okay. I'm glad we talked like that.” Steve rested his head on Bucky's shoulder. “You feeling good in your body?”

“Yeah, baby. I am.”

“Good.” Steve gave the scar a little pat.

“How about you?” Bucky asked, slipping his hand under Steve's shirt. Mostly to keep it warm, but it was nice to be able to pet Steve a little too.

“Hmm?”

“How do you feel in your body?”

Steve was quiet for awhile. “It still doesn't feel entirely like it's mine,” he admitted quietly. “I'm still the skinny little guy, in my head. But it's getting better.”

“I'll take it.” Bucky used what there was of his left arm to rub Steve's back. “It's okay, if it takes time.”

“From you, I'll even believe that.”

They grinned at each other, and kissed until Bucky really was shivering and they went inside to continue making out first on a convenient sofa, then the gigantic jacuzzi in the master bathroom (making sure to leave wet footprints), then finally headed for their bedroom.

Steve laughed when he saw the pile of photos by the bed. “Shit, sorry. I promise I will enjoy the _hell_ out of them soon.” He wrapped his arms around Bucky and hugged him tight enough to lift him off his feet. “I'm havin' too much fun with the original article at the moment.”

Bucky laughed and twined his arm around Steve's neck, tugging him down for a kiss and loving the way their bodies pressed together for a moment. “Can't argue with that.” He let go long enough to pull on sweatpants and a loose t-shirt, then crawled into bed, grinning so much his face hurt when Steve hit the lights and crawled in beside him, the two of them curling around each other.

Bucky yawned and settled in a little closer, sighing happily when Steve's hands crept up under the edge of his t-shirt and started stroking his back in long, soft motions. “Gonna fall 'sleep soon.”

“Good.” Steve's hands were so _big_. “I want you to sleep as much as you can all weekend, love. Get all the rest you need, and then some.”

Bucky smiled and nodded so Steve would feel it, and drifted off, body heavy and relaxed and everything good.

 

Epilogue:

 

Bucky wandered into their bedroom, and snickered at the sight before him. “I see you found the rest of the photos.”

Steve made a long 'beeeep' sound. “I'm sorry, the boyfriend you're trying to reach has ascended to a higher plane of existence. What's left is only a sexually exhausted shell. Maybe try Thor?”

“For what, my next boyfriend, or to help retrieve the one I've got?” Bucky asked, unbelievably amused. Some of the photos he'd taken were scattered around the bed. Steve, allegedly taking a shower after going for a run, was naked and sprawled on his back. There was a faint sheen of sweat on his skin, and the room smelled like sex, but this was too adorable for Bucky to make a face and back out.

“Eh. Either way. Nice to know you got a type.”

“Yup. Big, blond, a little dumb, that's my guy.” Bucky came in and perched on the side of the bed, looking over the photos closest to Steve, curious to see where his tastes ran. “An ass man I see.”

Steve made a high, whining sound.

“Good to know.” Bucky dipped his head and kissed Steve. “Before the cuddling starts, did you at least get a shower?”

“ _Yes_.” Steve laughed and shifted over, after carefully moving the photos out of the way, and Bucky happily curled around him. “And there's no gross sex stuff on me either, I promise. Cuddles, please.”

Bucky laughed and gave his ass a little smack. “Gross sex stuff?”

“Uh huh. Mmmm, afterglow,” he sighed, and pressed a kiss to Bucky's ear.

“I love you,” Bucky said, and grinned when Steve cuddled a little closer, nuzzling Bucky's neck. “Oh, I _really_ love you like this. Best idea I've had yet.”

Steve giggled, and kissed his throat. “Damn straight. I love you too.” Another kiss, then another. “Thank you. I know it all wound up being harder than you thought. Thank you.” One more kiss. “I love you.”

Bucky smiled, and kissed back as good as he got. “Sweetheart.” Steve was always like this; always needed warmth and kisses and care. “Love you too. I hope you know that. I can only show it in so many ways, but I love you.”

“I know!” Steve laughed and hugged Bucky tightly. “I know, and you show me in so many ways.” He giggled a little and pressed kisses to Bucky's jawline. “God, I don't know if I'd survive actual sex with you. I think I really would die.”

Bucky laughed softly. “Lucky for you, then.”

“Lucky for me,” Steve agreed, and kissed Bucky's brow softly. “Hey you. I love you, and your ace-ness.”

“I know,” Bucky assured him. He rubbed Steve's back, the skin warm even in the cool spring air. His impossible man out of time, giggly and silly and busy trying to kiss every inch of the skin he could reach, as far as Bucky could tell. He was a lucky bastard, and he knew it, too.

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> dietraumerei.tumblr.com


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